


And you believe something I can't define

by Zebooboo



Series: Help me lose my mind [2]
Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: Amnesia a la Vex, M/M, Nudity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-01-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:20:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22367050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zebooboo/pseuds/Zebooboo
Summary: He doesn’t know if he can stay at Rezyl’s side if he ever manages to find it.
Relationships: Pahanin/Rezyl Azzir, Pahanin/Rezyl Azzir (Destiny)
Series: Help me lose my mind [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1610071
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	And you believe something I can't define

**Author's Note:**

> Here I am! Back on my bullshit.

The first rays of dawn are barely peeking through the window when the sweat finally starts cooling on Pahanin’s back. His breathing is ruffling Rezyl hair, the other’s head nestled under his jaw, their legs tangled in a sticky mess together and he feels the most content he’s been in, maybe, years.

Rezyl presses a kiss to his breastbone and Pahanin shivers at the wide palms massaging his back. He’s in an awkward position between the headboard and the bed and Rezyl is slowly pulling him down beneath him.  
  
He catches sight of a small smirk on the Titan’s face, and he raises an eyebrow at him. Rezyl winks and trails open mouthed kisses from his chest all the way up to his neck, he feels teeth nip at the skin and sighs.  
  
Pahanin digs his fingers in Rezyl’s back, kneading the muscles slowly. This is all careless and gentle and tugs at something deep in Pahanin’s chest. It almost distracts him from Rezyl’s mouth until the man blows a raspberry on his throat.  
  
Laughter bubbles up and he jerks in Rezyl’s arms. He hiccups and shoves the man’s grinning face away. Just as he huffs a clear breath, fingers start tickling his ribs and he goes back to howling with laughter.  
  
He tries to roll over and Rezyl stands up on his knees and follows him. Pahanin can hear him giggle and that just makes his chest ache with something other than breathlessness.  
  
Finally he manages to wiggle a knee between them and, with a push, tosses Rezyl on his back. Pahanin is still trembling but he wrangles Rezyl’s hands above the Titan’s head and perches over him.  
  
He grins and leans in to kiss the equally shit-eating grin looking up at him. It’s indulgent and they break for breath too fast. Pahanin pecks Rezyl’s lips and lets his hands go to lay on him. The knot in Pahanin’s chest doesn’t leave.  
  
Rezyl looks down at him, smile falling from his lips with a sigh. He snakes his arms around Pahanin’s waist and lays back.  
  
Pahanin almost want to feel bad, but he just doesn't have it in him.

Rezyl’s breathing evens out beneath him and he thinks he’s on the verge of sleep when Pahanin puts in words the feeling in his chest.

“Do you ever feel like there's something out there waiting for you? Something that's missing from you?” He mumbles it to Rezyl’s skin, quiet and soft. He gets a sleepy hum in response.

“Like, some kind of destiny? A purpose?” The Titan’s gravelly voice rumbles against Pahanin’s ribcage like it’s empty.

“No. Just… gone. Like a piece of you has been lost.” He traces patterns on Rezyl’s shoulder, slowly, methodically and he forgets them before he even finishes tracing them.

A hand rubs Pahanin’s back comfortingly. “And you want it back.”

The Hunter hums and crosses his arms on Rezyl, setting his chin on them to look the man in the eye. “Hmm, maybe. You don't know what it is, you don't know what happened to it. And you don't know where to start looking.” He trails off, thought nearly incomplete, mind wandering off to try and figure how to describe something that aches like a cracked fissure in some unknowable, already empty space.

Rezyl rubs fingers into Pahanin’s neck, more to get Pahanin’s attention back on track, expression pensive but patient. “But you need it.”

Pahanin looks back to Rezyl’s dark eyes, and nods, sure of this like he is of little anymore. “Like nothing else.” 

Rezyl nods at him, dragging his nails over Pahanin’s temple, through the little hair that’s grown since he last shaved it. “Then you go searching, and you don't stop.”

“Never?” His mouth feels dry.

“Until you find it.” Rezyl almost sounds, resigned as he says it.

Pahanin’s brows scrunch up, he never liked it when Rezyl felt like Pahanin was leaving him behind. He always wore that expression. ”And if I don't?”

“Then you keep looking.” Rezyl breaks eye contact, looks out at the rising sun.

Pahanin breathes once, twice, slowly takes Rezyl’s hand in his and pressing his mouth to his wrist. “I don't know if I'm strong enough if that happens.” 

_(He doesn’t know if he can stay at Rezyl’s side if he ever manages to find it.)_

The Titan looks at their hands, expression crumbling a little. “You have to keep the faith Pahanin. You can't give up hope.”

A hollow chuckle leaves Pahanin’s lips. “I’m not like you Rezyl.”

The smile creeping back on Rezyl’s face is both sad and exasperated. “You don't have to be, you are stronger than you know.”

The smirk that stretches on Pahanin’s lips is much more genuine than he feels it is. “You flatter me too much.”

Rezyl frees his hands from Pahanin’s hold, cupping Pahanin’s cheek. “No, just not enough. I should fix that, don't you think?”

Pahanin crawls up Rezyl to fit their cheeks together, whispering in the other’s ear. “Oh are you flirting with me, Azzir?”

Strong arms flip them around and Rezyl is bearing down on him with a dark yes. “When you let me.”

He loops arms around Rezyl’s neck and whispers. “When do I ever not…”

_(He won’t look, if it keeps Rezyl close, Pahanin won’t look.)_

\---

**TYPE: POST-MATCH REPORT**

**PARTIES:** Two [2]. One [1] Guardian-type, Class Titan [u.1]; One [1] Guardian-type, Class Hunter [u.2]

 **ASSOCIATIONS:** Crucible; Twilight Gap; Control; Pahanin; Rezyl, Azzir; Yor, Dredgen; Thorn

**//AUDIO UNAVAILABLE//**

**//TRANSCRIPT FOLLOWS.../**

**[u.1:01]** Did you keep the hope Pahanin?  
  
**[u.2:01]** I tried.  
  
**[u.1:02]** Perhaps. But did you believe it, sweet thing?

 **[u.2:02]** I didn’t want to. For you.

 **[u.1:03]** Maybe you shouldn’t have.

**[gunshot sound]**

**Author's Note:**

> Companion piece mostly :')  
> I hope you enjoyed!  
> 


End file.
